This subject has actually been brought up in my comments (and probably also on their blogs) by Bobbie at Anonymous Fat Girl and Tiffany at Project 365; and that is the notion that weight loss is often thought of as an “all or nothing” process.

The truth is, having an “all or nothing at all” attitude to weight loss is very counter productive because it is laced with fear undertones.  That kind of outlook is almost diet-wrecking.

I say this, because in my own repeated weight loss attempts over the last 3 years, I very much had an “all or nothing” ‘tude about the journey.  Thus, each journey ended up being short-lived and not fulfilling.  Why?  Well, for starters, everytime I had a *weak* moment or a moment where I ate something that wasn’t on program, I would use it as an excuse to continue to veer off program.  So instead of one *not so great choice* for the day, I had a string of not-so-great choices for that single day.  But my attitude back then was …. “Oh well.  There’s always tomorrow.  Tomorrow will be a better day.”  Yet, tomorrow would come and it was rarely a good day.  I just kept the cycle up of veering off of a healthy track.  So much so, that after awhile I lost my focus, drive and I couldn’t really remember why I wanted to lose weight other than to *look better*.

I am here to say that there is such a thing as making a bad situation worse.

I hear the term “falling off the wagon” quite a bit when it comes to weight loss.  I have to say that I have changed that saying for myself to “falling on the wagon”.  Because no journey is perfect.  And sometimes, we *are* going to make missteps and eat things we didn’t plan to eat or there will be times where we can’t or don’t get the exercise we set out to get.  But instead of making that situation worse, we can simply hold ourselves accountable for the present choice and then thereafter, make amends with ourselves by making good choices.  And if we do that, then we didn’t fall OFF of the wagon, we fell ON the wagon.  Which means, we’re still committed to ourselves.  We’re still committed to this journey.

I think Diane from Fit to the Finish is the greatest example of this.  She lost over 150 pounds and managed to keep it off for 12 years!  Not only does she do a great job of recounting her experiences, successes and failures, but she also brings to the table the kind of wisdom that one would only get from *having been there*.  “Are You Prepared for the Long Journey“ is one of my very favorite posts because she tells it like it is.  Losing weight is full of peaks and valleys!

Having an “all or nothing at all” attitude is not just about fear but it also involves guilt.  So if we have that “all or nothing attitude”, then when we do make a choice that is not on program or on the path, then we feel guilty.  And so we jump off the wagon and continue to punish ourselves by saying… “Screw the diet.  Who cares.  I already f*d up.  I might as well keep doing it.  Nothing will ever change.”

So for me, the biggest thing that has changed is my attitude toward this journey.  Because I realize that in order for me to stay on it and to stay with it, then I need to allow myself to fall on the wagon every once in awhile.  And falling on the wagon does not mean that I have veered from my journey.  Because I can make amends.  I can choose not to make a bad situation worse or make a moment of weakness define my whole day/week/month/year.  This is my life and I make the rules.

So the slogan for the day is:  This is YOUR life, YOUR journey and YOU make the rules.

I thought I would do a fun post that kind of highlights some of the small changes I have made in my life!

Breakfast-

Me then:  2 Sausage, Egg & cheese McGriddles (points value of 26 for two or 13 WW pts. a piece)

Made with eggs, lots of butter, pork sausage patties, 4 small pancakes w/ syrup melded in & 2 full slices of American Cheese

Me now:  2 Sausage, Egg & cheese breakfast sandwiches at home (8 WW points or 4 points a piece)

Made with 1/2 cup of egg beaters (1 pt), 1 slice Low-Fat cheddar cheese (2 pts), 2 – 100 calorie Thomas english muffins (2 pts), 2 turkey sausage patties (3 pts)

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Drinks

Me then:  Diet Pepsi 24/7.  Back then I thought that I needed the caffeine to thrive.   But the fact is, artificial sugars and all of the other junk they put in it is just not good.

Me now:  Special K Pink Lemonade drink packs (lots of fiber) & of course, plain old water (with ice).

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Tacos

Me then:   My tacos were always loaded down with cheese & sour cream

Me now:  My tacos are now loaded down with black beans, salsa & roasted red peppers!

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Exercise

My attitude then:  You want me to what?  Quit swearing.

My attitude now:  Bring it on.  60 minutes of cardio down!

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Grocery Shopping:

Me then:  Anything that looked good – (my inner Homer Simpson) “Mmmmm…”

Me now:  I read ALL of the labels before I put it in my cart.  And most importantly, I make sure that I am not hungry when I grocery shop.  Or else, my inner Homer Simpson comes out.

So those are just a few of the small changes I have made in my life.  What about you?  If you would be so kind, share a *then and now* in the comments that highlights some changes in your own journey!

I have had an interesting few days!

My cousin came down to visit me for a couple of days.  She is 18, about 11 years younger than me!  It was fun having her around!

Goodness… where to begin?  So much is going on that I feel the need to catch my breath!

First, I didn’t get my exercise in the form of my usual workout but rather in the form of shopping!   And non-stop shopping at that!  Neither of us purchased much, but it was fun to window shop and dream.  I don’t do it that often, so I was really excited.  Plus, I knew it would help me burn calories (since while she was here I didn’t workout as I traditionally do).  I was surprised to see how many mall walkers there were!  I had always heard of mall walking but have never done it myself.  It was neat to see!  And actually gave me a good idea on how to change up my current routine.

I would like to say that I was able to stay spot-on with the  healthy eating program while she was here.  But I would totally be lying.  I took her to lunch on every single one of  those days (adds up to be 2 lunches out).  I chose exactly what I wanted to eat (rather than what I should eat).  To my credit, I split my meals in half.  I packed half of it up and then gave it to my husband.  I reduced the damage by half so I was pretty proud of that.   I made dinners relatively simple and healthy (so that’s a plus).  She got treated to a couple of days on the town (and so did I).  She also got the benefit of healthy meals from my home.  So I felt it was a win on all levels.

And another win was that I didn’t go for broke with the food (which the old me would have done).  This means that I didn’t say…. “Well, I have already had food that wasn’t really on the program, so what the heck… I might as well go for broke the next few days!”  Instead, I tried to find a balance within the situation as much as possible.

I had come to the conclusion awhile back that I didn’t want to live my life afraid of food.  This journey is not about denying myself, but rather it is about learning to make smarter choices and learning to control my portions.  I can choose to live my life in a box where I *only* eat a certain kind of food, but that’s not reality.  In the same breath I can live my life gorging on unhealthy foods and partaking in very little activity.  That scenario is also not reality.  So i’m finding a balance between the two (leaning more toward the healthy side though).  I have to give myself a little bit of elbow room (not a lot…just a little).

The best thing about her being here, is that I didn’t feel out of control.  I felt very much in control of all of my choices.  At some point, before I dedicated myself to this journey, I planned my life around holidays and family events.  As in, I never really felt there was a good time to start getting healthy.  Certain events would be on the horizon and I would think… “Well geez.  There goes my diet.  Why even try?”  It never occurred to me that I could modify as I needed to.  It never occurred to me that my life was not held in someone else’s control but rather in my own.

That is where I am right now.  Very much in control over what I put in my mouth and the amount of activity I get every day.

On the plus side, things are moving rather well with the house.  I dare to say that as of right now, it looks like all systems are go!  I am starting to organize and pack.  My husband and I are looking into getting a health savings account of sorts. I want to start putting a small amount of profit in there for health emergencies. Being self-employed means having to manage your own health plan. And if you have a big family, that is extremely expensive!

On a side note: My cousin went in to Hollister (a store that I am not normally very comfortable in) and I found some cute clothes (none that would fit of course). Finding cute clothes that I couldn’t fit into quite yet was also another motivating factor for me! I can’t wait until the day when I can walk into any store and buy whatever I choose and not worry whether or not they “have my size”.