The song that sums it all up right now….

I listened to this song today and goosebumps traveled down my arm as I really listened to the lyrics.  The message plain and simple is where I am at right now.  Nothing more powerful than music to invoke a feeling or breakthrough.

Breaking The Habit – by Lincoln Park


Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I’m picking me apart again
You all assume
I’m safe here in my room
Unless I try to start again

[Bridge:]
I don’t want to be the one
The battles always choose
‘Cause inside I realize
That I’m the one confused

[Chorus:]
I don’t know what’s worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don’t know why I instigate
And say what I don’t mean
I don’t know how I got this way
I know it’s not alright
So I’m breaking the habit
I’m breaking the habit
Tonight

Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again

[Bridge:]
I dont want to be the one
The battles always choose
‘Cause inside I realize
That I’m the one confused

[Chorus:]
I don’t know what’s worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don’t know why I instigate
And say what I don’t mean
I don’t know how I got this way
I’ll never be alright
So, I’m breaking the habit
I’m breaking the habit
Tonight

[Bridge:]
I’ll paint it on the walls
‘Cause I’m the one at fault
I’ll never fight again
And this is how it ends

[Chorus:]
I don’t know what’s worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
to show you what I mean
I don’t know how I got this way
I’ll never be alright
So, I’m breaking the habit
I’m breaking the habit
I’m breaking the habit
Tonight

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CG Stats

Official Start:
December 28, 2009

Starting weight: 320lbs

Week 9: 304.6

Current Weight W10: 303.6 (-1)

Weight loss to date: -16.4lbs

My Goals for 2010
  • 290 lbs: Reward myself with a pedicure & a new pair of jeans
  • 260 lbs: Reward myself with a new bead for my Pandora bracelet.
  • 230 lbs: Reward myself with a brand spanky new outfit
  • 200 lbs: Reward myself with a new rockin' haircut, and break out some of my fabulous skinnier clothes that I have been saving!
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