Hells bells ma… buying a house is trigger-inducing!
So, my husband and I have been on the brink of buying a house forever. We started last July. Finally in October, we found a house. We bid on it even though it was a short sale. Our bid was accepted by the owners and now we wait. And wait. And wait.
Mid-December we were told that a negotiator was going to be assigned to us by the 16th. The 16th came and then passed without a word. Last week was Christmas and understandably, we didn’t hear anything. Today, we get an e-mail from our Realtor stating that we have NOT been assigned a negotiator yet and so they are moving to escalate it (whatever that means).
My friend Google doesn’t help much. Google basically says “Bank of America and Countrywide sincerely suck at moving forward on short sales”. Google also mentioned that it can be escalated 10 times or more. So that “escalation” is basically a nice way of saying that we have to wait. And wait.
My husband and I are now deciding what to do. Should we wait it out? Should we look for another house?
The thing is… this house is perrrfect in every way. We LUV it. And if we walk away now… who knows how long it will take.
This whole thing makes me want to move to South Carolina and rent a home from Outer Banks rentals. Or something. I feel absolutely powerless right now. And when things are out of my control… I tend to take control over other things…. err… bot not in always in a positive way.
This house buying stress is trigger inducing. For real. The minute I read the e-mail, I processed the information negatively and then my brain was shouting at me…. “EAT! YOU NEED TO EAT! IT’S A CRISIS! YOU’RE HAVING A CRAPPY DAY AND LIFE SUCKS SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL FIND A SNACK!” So I went into the kitchen and rummaged around and ate a bit of sugary and salty snacks. And then I fixed myself lunch (this part is definitely what I should have done first). Granted, I jotted down all of my points for the kitchen raid and lunch… but damn. Really? I spent 6 points (I estimated high) on a stress-induced attack of the munchies. And another 5 on a really healthy lunch. So that’s 11 points in all. 6 of those points, I am positive, could have been avoided.
And I realized that when stressful things happen, my body is in fight or flight mode. I get this surge of energy and I envision myself punching the wall or something. But instead of punching the wall, I focus the anger and energy on eating.
So i’m making a vow here and now… next time I am going to give myself options. Yes. That’s right… options. The way I see it, I have at least a 5-second pause between reaction and action in a trigger-induced situation. So here are my options:
1. Phone a friend
2. Do some jumping jacks or hop on my exercise bike
3. Clean something …anything.
4. Go for a walk
That’s all I can think of for now. The point is, I know that I need to take action in a different way. If it bothers me to the point of pulling the trigger and ruining my health for a moment, then I need to do something different. Because running to the kitchen for answers aint working for me.
Posted in
I tend to do the same thing. I have had myself conditioned to immediately respond to stress by going to the kitchen and standing there. There was a time when my husband could walk into the kitchen, see me at the counter eating, and instantly he knew..he’d say “uh, so..how was the conversation with your mom?” or something else to that effect..
I think making a list of options is a GREAT idea! I might try that and post it on my fridge in my kitchen. I’m also looking forward to getting into the “Beck” book..looks like she has some good ideas for dealing with this too.
Good for you for logging your points and for your awareness!
Wishing you the best with your desire for the new house.
[Reply]
Kellie thanks for stopping by my blog. I’m putting a link to yours over there as I think you have something cool going on here!
I can’t imagine having to wait that long to buy a house. I remember watching an episode on HGTV (can’t remember the name of it) and this gal was in a similar situation, completely at the mercy of the bank. Such a bummer! And they know they got you by the you know what and so they do what they want.
At least you have identified that the whole issue is stress inducing and a trigger to eat, so you are already one up. Just stay positive and I’m sure things will be fine and end soon (hopefully).
[Reply]
Its so hard to break our conditioned responses. You seem to have a handle on it though. You have identified the problem and has come up with ways to combat it. Great job!
[Reply]
Good luck with the house buying. It is a frustrating process. I think better to be a buyer than a seller though.
[Reply]
I’m with you on the stress of house-buying. We’ve been on the same journey and it’s been a roller-coaster ride. It started last July and we should have moved in Dec 18. That was the final straw in more than one way. Our household goods got snowed in at the depot and we had to live in a hotel until they could deliver on Dec 22! And I *did* react the wrong way, and I’m paying for it now.
[Reply]
[...] The business part: we’ll be meeting with our Realtor to see the house again and talk house stuff. We’re going to decide just how long we want to wait out this short sale before deciding to [...]
[...] husband had to work on restoring servers for a client. Oh and we found out that our offer on the short sale we bid on got accepted… BUT. And that’s where it is at the moment. We’re not sure at this point what [...]
[...] the house. Monday marks the day of our inspections and then we’ll see from there. The short sale is moving along and I am happy and surprised but also trying not to get too excited–yet. We [...]
[...] this up to is needing to drink more water? I have been quite stressed because of the move. The house stuff is up in the air… *again*. In fact, we were supposed to close today… but then fate [...]