Yesterday as I was sweating it out on the elliptical, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.  And you know what?  I was workin’ it.  I could actually tell that my face was slimmer and I didn’t look so puffy.  When my reflection stared back at me in that moment, I knew that my 4 weeks of hard work was somehow paying off.

And then this morning…

I am 311 pounds now!  I weighed in at Weight Watchers this morning and lost another 3.6 pounds!  I did a happy wiggle, gave a fist pump in the air and I think I may have shouted out a woohoo!  And like Thomas the tank engine, the little voice inside of me was on repeat; “you CAN do this!!”

“It’s so nice to have you back where you belong.” — I have the “Hello Dolly” plugin activated on my blog.  While writing my post for today that is what came up.  It seems so fitting.  Thank you.  I am glad to be back where I belong too!

I am not trying to get to my destination at break neck speed.  The fat fairy didn’t bring the weight on overnight and she’s certainly not going to take it away either.  Every pound down feels like one more thing in my life that has been dealt with.  I can’t explain it other than to know that I can do this.  And I will!

Five weeks ago, I was kind of a wreck.  I felt so lost.  I had gained all of this weight, and for the past few years have been in and out of a deep depressive state of mind.  Just the thought of moving off of the couch was almost too much to bear.  Hell, waking up in the morning seemed like a full time job.  I have many things in life to be thankful for and to be proud of but the massive ball of pudge and hair that was me seemed to be like this dark storm cloud always following.  My natural state of being is one made up of happy, cute and optimistic.  I’m sort of a wide-eyed idealist like that.  So this storm cloud thing wasn’t working *at all*.

However, the whole time that I was going through that, I knew that I was on the verge of just going for it.  And then, I did.  The final push came when I realized that I was not living life.  I was merely a bystander in life.  Sitting on the sidelines and watching the whole thing pass me by.  That might as well be 100% true.  I am never the one in the picture, I am the one taking the picture.  Because whenever I would see a picture of myself, I would be faced with the full truth of what I did to myself.

So here I am now.  And I feel good.  I feel better than I have in 3 years.  I’m finally taking control of this beast.  And, i’m turning my troubles over to God.  God and I have had a lot of long talks lately.  When i’m done talking and praying, I feel whole and unburdened.  I am not the most religious person in the world.  I haven’t been to church in so long that I think the last time I did was when my first child was baptized.  Something occurred to me the other night that I couldn’t do this by myself.  I needed help.  I needed something to help unburden my heart.  Because my heart is always filled with all kinds of stuff.   I’m trying to right the wrongs and restore my spiritual self as well as my health.

All in all, it got me to thinking.  There are so many other people out there like me.  They are on their last legs too.  They are on the verge too.

To anyone who has not started their journey yet but happens to be on the verge of it like I was:

Just do it.  There will never be a perfect time or perfect moment to take care of yourself.  There will never be a perfect day of the week or perfect month to start your journey.  All we know is that we have today.  None of us can predict how many tomorrows we will be blessed with.  So just take a chance on you.  Because you are worth it.

What was your turning point?  What made you decide to start getting healthy?