This subject has actually been brought up in my comments (and probably also on their blogs) by Bobbie at Anonymous Fat Girl and Tiffany at Project 365; and that is the notion that weight loss is often thought of as an “all or nothing” process.

The truth is, having an “all or nothing at all” attitude to weight loss is very counter productive because it is laced with fear undertones.  That kind of outlook is almost diet-wrecking.

I say this, because in my own repeated weight loss attempts over the last 3 years, I very much had an “all or nothing” ‘tude about the journey.  Thus, each journey ended up being short-lived and not fulfilling.  Why?  Well, for starters, everytime I had a *weak* moment or a moment where I ate something that wasn’t on program, I would use it as an excuse to continue to veer off program.  So instead of one *not so great choice* for the day, I had a string of not-so-great choices for that single day.  But my attitude back then was …. “Oh well.  There’s always tomorrow.  Tomorrow will be a better day.”  Yet, tomorrow would come and it was rarely a good day.  I just kept the cycle up of veering off of a healthy track.  So much so, that after awhile I lost my focus, drive and I couldn’t really remember why I wanted to lose weight other than to *look better*.

I am here to say that there is such a thing as making a bad situation worse.

I hear the term “falling off the wagon” quite a bit when it comes to weight loss.  I have to say that I have changed that saying for myself to “falling on the wagon”.  Because no journey is perfect.  And sometimes, we *are* going to make missteps and eat things we didn’t plan to eat or there will be times where we can’t or don’t get the exercise we set out to get.  But instead of making that situation worse, we can simply hold ourselves accountable for the present choice and then thereafter, make amends with ourselves by making good choices.  And if we do that, then we didn’t fall OFF of the wagon, we fell ON the wagon.  Which means, we’re still committed to ourselves.  We’re still committed to this journey.

I think Diane from Fit to the Finish is the greatest example of this.  She lost over 150 pounds and managed to keep it off for 12 years!  Not only does she do a great job of recounting her experiences, successes and failures, but she also brings to the table the kind of wisdom that one would only get from *having been there*.  “Are You Prepared for the Long Journey“ is one of my very favorite posts because she tells it like it is.  Losing weight is full of peaks and valleys!

Having an “all or nothing at all” attitude is not just about fear but it also involves guilt.  So if we have that “all or nothing attitude”, then when we do make a choice that is not on program or on the path, then we feel guilty.  And so we jump off the wagon and continue to punish ourselves by saying… “Screw the diet.  Who cares.  I already f*d up.  I might as well keep doing it.  Nothing will ever change.”

So for me, the biggest thing that has changed is my attitude toward this journey.  Because I realize that in order for me to stay on it and to stay with it, then I need to allow myself to fall on the wagon every once in awhile.  And falling on the wagon does not mean that I have veered from my journey.  Because I can make amends.  I can choose not to make a bad situation worse or make a moment of weakness define my whole day/week/month/year.  This is my life and I make the rules.

So the slogan for the day is:  This is YOUR life, YOUR journey and YOU make the rules.

11 Responses to “All or nothing at all”