A couple of days ago, I decided to bust out my Dr. Phil book on the Ultimate Weight Loss Solution (it features his 7 keys as a no-fail solution to lose weight).

You see, i’m all about learning the psychology of things and understanding my personal truths on this journey.  Because I think that *for me*, I gained weight largely because it helped me cope with most (if not all) feelings.

In my mind’s eye, I have a vision of myself with very broad shoulders (figuratively speaking).  My shoulders are broad so that I can carry the world’s weight.  I am an emotional sounding board and rock for everyone in my life.  It’s a role that I CHOSE.  Because helping people and understanding people makes me happy.  Seriously… I get a huge kick out of making people happy or helping someone out.

But the thing is, my road is one that is often kind of lonely.  I have very few close friends.  I just don’t have enough reserves to go around.  And instead of becoming energized by a crowd or a large group, I go into it like a light bulb and come out of it drained.  I cherish any time that I can get to myself.  It allows my batteries recharge in a major way.  And then I can resume my life-of-the-party ways!

You see, I have so much energy that I bring it with me wherever I go.  I exert this energy into everything I take on or do.

I have always had an immeasurable amount of responsibility on my shoulders.  From the age of 10- 18, I helped raise my three younger brothers.  I was responsible for keeping the house clean and the laundry finished.  I didn’t have the life of a normal young girl/teenager.  My life never really felt like my own.

So my personal truth is, I ate because it helped me cope.  I didn’t feel as though there was anyone in my life who could help me cope.  My parents?  I was helping them cope.  Friends?  Me helping them.  My brothers?  Again… all me.

I’m not good at saying “I need help.  I can’t handle this.”   I always felt like I had one strike against me growing up (because I was fat).  I never wanted to put more strikes against me.  So I always felt that I needed to take on what I could and just suck it up.

Even though in my life I was “acting” for other people (coming up with solutions, being a sounding board, being the one who took on responsibilities), for myself I didn’t have enough reserves left.  I didn’t allow reserves for myself.  When a situation arose that I needed to help with or to handle, I chose to react instead of act.  I actually trained myself to become hungry whenever there was a moment that set off an emotional trigger.

One of the biggest lessons I feel that I need to learn is to act, instead of react.  If I can train my brain to get my impulses under control and slow down my thought process enough to give myself room to make good decisions, then I think that the weight loss successes will be long-lasting!