Bobbie over at Anonymous Fat girl, brought up a really good topic today on her blog in regards to gastric bypass surgery.

Now, I have never had Gastric Bypass Surgery (I have taken weight loss supplements though–). However, I do know at least 5 people who have had it.  Two of the five were sisters that I went to school with (they were a few grades below me and were in my brother’s class).  Both grew up obese and were passed over by boys, sometimes friends, etc.  In my opinion, they were sweet girls.  They had good singing vocals and a lot to offer.  But I could tell they never saw it.

Bring us to the present.  Both girls had Gastric Bypass surgery at the same time.  They both hit their goal weights and looked fantastic.  One girl gained a bit back and is now at a more comfortable weight for her.  The other, is skinny skinny.

I had an opportunity to talk to them at my best friend’s wedding last summer (I was the Maid of Honor).  The younger of the two was doing very well.  She got married, has one daughter and is the same friendly person that I knew her to be.

The other one however, lost all sense of class that she had.  She actually sauntered up to me and another gal at the reception and said… “I’m going to stand over here by the FAT girls!”

I wasn’t offended by her pointing out that I was fat.  Because I AM fat.  But what she said next absolutely broke my heart.  She said… “Deep down inside I am still fat.  I still see myself as the girl I was in high school.”

She brought a date to the reception but made out with almost every guy there (and ended up dateless halfway through the reception because of it).  And she was sloppy drunk the whole time.

I am not writing this down so that I can pass judgment on this girl.  I am writing this down because I think she missed a step in the whole weight-loss journey.

And that step is to “LOVE THYSELF FIRST”.  If you can’t love yourself, if you can’t look at yourself in the mirror and find things to celebrate about yourself as you are NOW.  Then what makes you think that you will love yourself and find things to celebrate about yourself when you are thin?  You have to love who you are now.  No matter what.  Because you are wonderful!

If I can’t love myself just as I am now.  Then I won’t love myself in the future.

You always hear about some of the contestants from those extreme makeover shows and how they *still* see themselves as the “ugly/fat” person they were before all of the plastic surgery and such.  This is because they never made peace with the person they were before.  So there are still unresolved seeds of self-loathing floating around inside.

You have to work on the inside as well as the outside.

Losing weight and being on this journey means that you have to find things within yourself to celebrate.

I used to think that losing weight was going to be this golden ticket that held everything that was good in life.  All I had to do was lose the weight and then BAM!  perfect life.

It doesn’t work that way.  Losing weight makes you thinner, and healthier — yes.  Does it fix problems?  Only health problems.  That is why I say that it is imperative to work on the rest.

When you learn to love yourself, the rest of the journey is that much sweeter.

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