Well, I weighed myself this morning and found that I lost 2.8 pounds! Yay me! So that tells me that I must have been retaining water. Or something. Isn’t it funny how the scale fluctuates sometimes day by day?
I did go on my bike ride yesterday as I said I would. Hubs watched the kids and I went by myself. I was able to kick out 7.2 miles (1 mile more than I did yesterday). It was refreshing! Although, I didn’t really think about anything. I just let my mind wander and really got into my music. It was good to be able to go into my own little world.
So this leads me to a couple of questions to any of my fellow moms who may read this:
Do you experience mommy guilt? If so, how have you been able to get over it for the sake of your journey?
Let me ‘splain. You see, I am a stay-at-home mom. I spend 24 hours a day and 365 days a year of my existence with my kids. I love my kids. They are my world. However, I go through phases of mommy-burn-out. Usually this happens when the mommy-guilt comes on and as a result I stop taking care of myself because I think I am taking something away from my kids by doing so. (I know what you are thinking…. that’s a good example of Stinkin’ Thinkin’, right?)
The thing is… I am getting over it. It is not easy to get over (the guilt that is) but at the end of the day I recognize that I need to take care of myself. If momma ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy. Know what I mean? And besides, taking care of myself isn’t selfish. NOT taking care of myself is very selfish. But taking care of me is as essential to my family’s daily routine as taking care of them is.
And I see the benefit of this new lifestyle, not only for myself but for my family. Owen (my oldest), is making very good distinctions between what is healthy and what isn’t. A few months ago, he might have complained that I only packed him an apple for a snack (instead of some crunchy, sugary stuff with a character on the front of the package). Now, he is excited about it.
The same thing with exercise. I was a card-carrying couch potato at one point. My kids had all of this energy and nowhere to put it because *I* was too tired to do fun things with them. If I couldn’t fence them in (so that I didn’t have to get up, naturally) then I didn’t want any part of the activity. Now, we go places. We go for walks, bike rides and to the park. I want to be as active as possible.
Knowing that I am including my family in this is refreshing and makes me happy. Including them as much as I can (but not so much that I can’t concentrate on myself when I need to) is the sword that cuts the guilt. We all need to preserve ourselves sometimes and that is OK.
My AHA! Moment of the day: I always thought that if I did for myself and not for others then that would make me a bad person. But I realize that I need to do for myself otherwise I won’t be good for others. And that I am a good person regardless.
Now tell me… do you have any weird tales about your scale? How do you get over your mommy guilt?
Is there such a thing as NO mommy guilt? I strongly believe that you need to sometimes put yourself first, hard as that can be. If we moms are not happy and healthy, the whole family suffers! I applaud you for being a role model for your kids and for including them in your healthy lifestyle.
I can only tell you that my scale, like most, is a fickle creature. And surely he is male! Many would tell us to ignore the scale, but I just can’t. Sigh.
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I’m not a mom, but your mindset sounds right on track with what is healthy.
And congrats on the weight loss – so happy for you to see that your hard work DID pay off!
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How about, “if mama ain’t happy ain’t no one happy”?
Or…you are the teapot and the kids are the cups. You can’t fill the cups if you aren’t full of tea, right?
We all have mommy guilt. I feel it often, but I think the whole “mommy wars” thing in society puts a lot of unnecessary guilt and pressure on us.
At the conference I went to this last weekend, there was a fabulous speaker, Cheryl Richardson, who has a book called “The Art of Extreme Self Care”. I thumbed through it and it looked great..and practical. It’s on my list to get.
My two youngest are 6 and 8 and I have to say, I’m finally taking care of myself so that I CAN take care of them!
No weird scale tales here..except I retain POUNDS each month. I’ve moved away from the scale. I was getting on it daily and it was driving me nuts. Now it’s more like once a month. I should find a happy medium.
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Good loss and not a mom but can imagine how it must feel. Hard to balance it all!
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I just love your blog! You honesty is so refreshing- I think you are probably a great mom
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I am a mom and know exactly how you feel. It’s so rewarding when you see your children make healthy choices.
Congratulations on the loss!
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First of all, congrats on the loss!
And secondly, I can relate to the mommy guilt. It’s so hard!!! People always say you have to give yourself time away from the kids but sometimes it’s easier said that done. I applaud you for getting out and hitting the bike for awhile. I still feel guilty at times when I’m away from the kids. Especially when John and I try to do a date night (which hardly ever happens) but we both have been working hard at not discussing the kids much when we are away because that causes all of the feelings of guilt and then we can’t enjoy ourselves. Still a work in progress on that.
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I am not sure if we ever get over the mommy guilt. My twins turn 18 on Mother’s Day and I still sometimes feel it. I wish I would have learned when they were little to make time for myself, insteat of just a couple of years ago, or 8 months ago when I started working out. Great loss keep it up!
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i don’t have any scale tales, i am avoiding my scale currently :/
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I’m not a mom, so I don’t have mommy guilt per se, but the bottom line is that no matter who you are and where you are in life, there’s always someone who will critique how you spend your time. It might be you, it might be your husband, might be the neighbor, might be the boss… Everyone has an opinion. And what I finally realized a few years ago is that people have to be shown that in terms of time expenditure, quality more than makes up for quantity.
If you have to take an hour or two out of your day and away from your kids to exercise, but that hour or two allows you to play with them and run around, do it. Your kids will thank you, and if you don’t believe me, ask them.
I had to show this to my boyfriend when he was spending weekends with me and I needed some time to myself. At first he took it very personally when I wanted an hour alone, but after he saw that when I got my alone time I was no longer grumpy and sad, he understood.
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