I read an insanely riveting post by Bobbie over at Anonymous Fat Girl and I came to this conclusion about obesity from her post: obesity steals. Obesity steals from us. It robs us of self-respect and dignity. It robs us of fluid movement and “feeling good” about ourselves. Human beings are meant to move. Our bodies are built to run, jump and play. Yet… being obese doesn’t allow for that.

When I think about my own struggles with obesity… I think of how I allowed myself to get this big. I self-medicated with food. I abused it. And as a result, I lived everyday in punishment of that abuse. Every overindulgence left me physically full but feeling empty. The truth is… I could blame it on processed foods, white sugar, high fructose corn syrup and fast food moguls. It is true that those things are made readily available. But in reality… it all boils down to choice. Fresh veggies, fruits, lean meats and unprocessed foods were always available and affordable. I just chose differently.

I was cleaning out the van the other day and found an old McDonald’s french fry completely intact. In fact, so intact that it appeared fresh and unblemished. There’s something wrong with food if it doesn’t naturally decompose as food is supposed to. And I think to myself…. “I was putting THIS in my body? I was allowing my children to eat THIS?”

Somehow the light bulb continues to get brighter and brighter as I discover all of the ways I was ruining my body with food. My body is a temple… and I had been treating it like a brothel. That’s what obesity does. That is the face of obesity.

So tell me… what has obesity stolen from you?

PS I really encourage those of you who visit my blog to head on over to Bobbie’s blog: Anonymous Fat Girl. She is a wealth of inspiration! When I find myself needing to add more fuel to my fire in the fight against obesity… I go over there and read her blog.

I had a plan at the beginning of summer. As soon as classes ended, my plan was to bike ride like mad everyday and eat *only* grilled veggies, lean meats (also grilled), whole grains, and fruits.

What I found out?

1) Too hot to exercise outside and too many bugs. My comfort-loving self preferred to stay indoors unmarked by mosquito bites.
2) Grilled foods taste great with delectable little sauces that are high in fat, calories and sugar. Don’t ya know?
3) Did I mention the heat? I spent most of my summer feeling absolutely famished after a day out doors. Sweaty wasn’t a good look on me.
4) Daylight Savings time baby! Who can go to bed at a normal time when it’s still light out by 9-10 in the evening? Good thing I don’t live in Alaska. Even though *I* went to bed late… the kids got up with the chickens. Making me — one tired momma.
5) Vacations. Who wants to diet on vacation?

What I should have done:

1) Got out and exercised first thing in the morning or in the early evening. And invested in some good insect repellent. I wouldn’t have been as hot and the bugs would stay away with the insect spray!
2) Found low-fat / low-calorie recipes for sauces if I absolutely had to have them OR left them off the menu and enjoyed the natural taste of grilled food.
3) Kept myself well-hydrated. Keeping yourself well-hydrated makes you feel less-tired and helps control your body’s temperature better.
4) Went to bed at a decent time. Just because it is daylight savings time — doesn’t mean that I need to be a night owl. I could have bought a sleep mask or darker curtains for the bedroom if need-be. Getting 8 hours of sleep leaves us feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day!
5) Vacation is a good time to try new things. But those things should be “in moderation”. Even though a vacation is vastly unplanned (at least mine are), it is always good to stock up on snacks. It is also a good idea to plan meals or scout out restaurant menus with healthy options and plan what you will eat ahead of time.

The summer is not over yet! We still have time to turn our summer excuses in for summer solutions!

I feel like losing weight not only adds years to my life but also kind of acts like a life insurance policy of sorts. Only this policy isn’t paid with money but rather with pounds lost. The more pounds I lose, the more years added to my life. I feel so grateful for this experience and yet… I am the catalyst for my journey. (if that makes sense)

And changes? MANY. I think one of my issues in regards to losing weight and keeping it off in the past, is that I didn’t make peace with myself. You see, my world is sometimes very black and white, yes or no, right or wrong. I tried for so long to appear perfect. Maybe I tried so hard to be perfect because I knew that I wasn’t perfect. And my weight was a visual reminder of my imperfection and failures. So I would punish myself with food… yet food was what I used to pacify myself with also. A very vicious cycle.

One thing that has changed tremendously is that I speak up. I am very assertive now. I was not assertive before. I was always so afraid of being labeled a *bitch* or *pushy* and even *disrespectful* or *rude*. So I balled all of my wants, needs and feelings up inside and took on the task of taking care of others and putting their needs before my own. Sometimes I think I thought of it as a noble sacrifice. An act of martyrdom if you will. But really… what was I gaining from all of this? I remember so many times… biting back my feelings… agreeing just to be accepted and then later feeling put out or resentful because I did what others wanted me to do rather than what I wanted to do. I remember feeling drained because it seemed that people always wanted something from me. I remember casting aside boundaries that I should have rightfully put up but didn’t because I didn’t want to be rejected.

I remember dumbing myself down so as not to appear threatening to other people so that I could be accepted. The ironic thing is… while I was certainly accepted, I was made fun of and put down. I was the class clown and not respected at all. But THIS is how I taught people to treat me. And yet… I didn’t think of it like that at the time. I thought I was making friends. But in reality… I was making an ass of myself in the name of acceptance.

Now… I set boundaries (and gladly so). I share what I am thinking whether those thoughts might be deemed rude, pushy, etc. I am truthful but tactful. I am still bubbly, funny, friendly and willing to help anyone. I suppose I have just found my voice and am letting it be heard.

I am becoming the person I have always wanted to be. It is extraordinary and freeing.

What personality changes have you noticed within yourself since you have been on this journey?