Obesity epidemic is a sign of the times.

I consider myself to be a patriot. With that said, I know my history. Throughout history, our ancestors were usually fighting for something: freedom from oppression, freedom of Religion, freedom to be taxed with fair representation, freedom against injustice, and so on. During those times in our history up until the 1980s, people struggled just to survive. Some were able to survive better than others, and most (in the baby boom era) had large families to take care of. During those times in our history, we understood community more than we understood materialism.

“The American Dream” meant that we could have it all — a big family, nice house, nice car, nice things. Many started to buy into the hype and that brings us up to the materialism that was the 80s. Indulge now — pay for it later. Because at the end of the party the piper always gets his one way or another.

It made me think about how life is today in contrast to how life was. For many of us (most of us) in this country, we haven’t had to experience what it is like to want for our basic necessities. Back in 1940 just getting a new pair of shoes or heck even a new pair of shoelaces was a big deal. People had to be more self-reliant and find ingenious ways to get what they needed. Being a self-made man was a birthright. A college education was for rich people. My grandfather actually quit school at the age of 14 so that he could find work to help support his mom and brother after his dad (my great grandfather) died suddenly of a massive heart attack. Back in those days, wasting food was considered a sin because people didn’t have a lot and if they lived through the depression — knew what it meant to go without basic necessities.

It’s not like that today. In our world now, we have at minimum 2 televisions. Most of us have a gaming system, cable television, cell phones, 2 cars (if we’re talking about a family), and more shiny stuff with blinking lights than we can shake a stick at. We are the product of instant gratification. We want it our way and we want it now. If it feels good… do it. Everything has to be bigger, brighter, move faster, and most important — make our lives easier.

So the obesity epidemic (in my humble opinion) is a sign of the times. It’s a sign that we don’t struggle to have our basic needs met. We want to overindulge in everything because it feels good. I am a firm believer that unless you are a monk or Mother Teresa — everyone in this country over indulges on something: alcohol, drugs, food, spending, etc.

But are we happier? 1 in 20 Americans suffers from depression. Many more suffer from anxiety and other mood disorders.

I say that obesity, materialism and depression is all connected.

I don’t know about you — but this definitely makes me think about things in my own life.

Growing up and growing wiser

For as long as I can remember, I defined myself by my appearance. If I had a “fat” day, then I felt down, depressed and angry about myself and the world around me. If I had a “cute” day, then I felt good about myself and everything seemed to fall into place. In my world, Fat = bad and Cute = good. Over and over again, I let each of those words define me. I allowed my outward appearance to consume me.

When I didn’t wear makeup or have my hair done up all cute, I felt unkempt and naked. Because every aspect of my life hung on my appearance.

Lightening struck me this year (well… figuratively speaking). I realized that for the last (almost) 30 years, I had been letting the wrong notions and attitudes guide me. I defined my self-worth not on my intelligence, wit, or compassion but rather by my dress size — the number on the scale — my “male attention” factor. Now I get it. I now realize that I was so misguided back then.

You see– I didn’t love myself. Not even a little. I loved the person that I aspired to be but I did not love the person I already was. Because my intelligence, wit and compassion was buried under my excess weight. Every sentence in my mind seemed to start with … “When I lose this weight I am finally going to…”. In reality, I should have been trying to do those things regardless of how much I weighed.

I realized this past year, that if I died tomorrow, I would die with tons of regrets. I held myself back because of my appearance. I didn’t have enough faith in myself. I always felt that people wouldn’t take the time to get past the exterior so why show them the interior? But all of this was preconceived. I should have pushed past it.

I digress. Beating myself up about things that happened yesterday… or rather… things that should have happened yesterday is completely moot. What matters is today. Maybe it is because I am starting to feel the power in turning 30, maybe I am strapping the “woman” tag into my self-definition or the fact that I have three children and a husband (and I pay my taxes too darn it), but I am casting the cloak of unworthiness aside. I am allowing myself to be the person I always was inside regardless of whether or not my body is “there yet”. Everyday I realize that I *am* beautiful and that I am becoming healthier and strong-minded.

In my world now…outward appearance is merely in the seat of the court jester. Content of character is king. :)

Scale obsessed?

I have had the privilege of reading some incredibly insightful blog posts this week.  Reading these posts have helped open up some answers to questions I had or helped me reflect on where I am and where I was.

Bobbie @ Anonymous Fat Girl had a really good post today on how her journey hasn’t been all about the scale.  And that she will post weigh-ins if they are significant but otherwise doesn’t want to base her life or her journey around the scale.  It’s a really good post and I encourage everyone to read it! :)

After reading her post, I pondered about my own relationship with the scale.  I have been a bit scale-obsessed lately.  I weigh in every day or every other day.  Somewhere in my mind I have it that if I don’t keep intense track of the scale then I will lose track of it and get off-path.  I realize that it is more involved than that.  I am practicing simplicity.

Every week I worry about weighing in.  Will I lose?  Will I gain?  And I hate that I allow that damn number to dictate my mood for the day.  I am obsessed with getting down to 290 but not so obsessed that I wear myself out dieting.  I’m actually taking everything one step at a time… one day at a time… one moment at a time.

So maybe it’s time for me to step off the scale for awhile.

I actually found a rather helpful article at SparkPeople.com entitled “4 Signs It’s Time to Step Off The Scale“.

They list the 4 signs as:

1)  Constantly worrying about weighing in

2)  Weigh-in more than once a day

3)  You can recite your weight to the nearest fraction at all times.

4)  The scale determines how you feel about yourself for the day.

So yeah. I think I might need a bit of a break. Maybe for a week or two.

Are you scale obsessed? How many times do you weigh yourself during the week if at all?