Archive for the ‘Family health’ Category

Many years ago, a good friend of mine said that the secret to his success was that he checked in with himself regularly. No matter what leg he was on in his journey, he would take a moment or two to make sure that he was still on track. Did anything need to be changed in his routine? Did he have the right attitude for the task at hand? Was he still excited about the path he was on? If not, then what needed to change? Believe it or not, this did not have to do with weight loss but rather it had to do with business. He was a stock broker at the time.

This friend and I had lost contact many years ago. Still, I never forgot the lesson he taught me. I figured it was an important one. So I have kept it in my back pocket until this very moment. Because I think it’s important to check in with yourself on this journey. Make sure that you are still happy and excited. Make sure that you are persevering and motivating yourself. Make sure that you are creating an environment that spells WIN. And if you aren’t, then figure out what you need to do to get back on track and go for it!

This week has proven to be a difficult week for me to get my fitness in. My baby has pink eye, my oldest son has strep throat and my husband has been working way later due to server outages with certain clients. I haven’t seen the inside of the gym since Monday.

At first, I felt like my train had been driven off of my path. It felt like one of those moments where you throw your hands up and say… “what the F?!” Obviously, there is nothing I can do to change the kids being sick or my husband having to work late. Those are some of the facts of life my friend. Shit happens and sometimes you step in it. Know what I mean? And really in the grand scheme of things, this is only one off-week.

Instead of lolling around the house moping about it, I utilized the extra energy to keep moving. I cleaned and organized things I never thought to clean or organize. Sometimes, I found myself jumping around in the kitchen just for fun. Or if a good song came on the radio, I would dance to it with my daughter. 4 weeks of working out has me craving movement. Any kind of movement. My body wants to move. From couch potato to mover and shaker in 4 weeks… that’s me! I have also been extra careful to watch what I eat. Just because I am unable to get to the gym, doesn’t mean I should throw all of my progress to the wind.

Today, I was pacing around the house wondering what else to clean (I think I have the cleanest home in America now). Then I remembered my old exercise bike in the garage. I found it buried under a whole bunch of stuff. So I moved the stuff and moved the bike back into the house. This was no small feat and took a lot of extra effort but it was totally worth it. I moved it into my living room and got 45 minutes of straight cardio on it! And after I was done I felt this calming sensation flow over my body and soul. That is what exercise does for me. It chills me out and sends me to my happy place.

So this week, when I check in with myself, i’m going to note that I overcame an obstacle and am still managing to keep on track with my goals all while smiling.

Tonight is the first official date night I have had with my husband since beginning this journey.  Tonight will be for part business and part pleasure.  The business part:  we’ll be meeting with our Realtor to see the house again and talk house stuff.  We’re going to decide just how long we want to wait out this short sale before deciding to move on.  All of this will take place over drinks.

I am taking the time to prepare for date night.  That includes trying out the new acne products I purchased a few days ago. I really want to be fresh-faced for my date.

So, i’m taking some care to have a strategy in place for myself in regards to both food and drink tonight.  I want to make sure that I will make the right choices.  If I tried this on the fly, I don’t know that I would be as successful with it.  So I am trying to plan as much as possible.

How do you handle “date night” with your significant other?  Do you set boundaries for yourself ahead of time?  Do you wing it?  Do you choose date nights as the only night you splurge?

Want to read Part 1 first?  Click it.

I was teased and tormented endlessly at school because of my weight.  I felt so trapped.  Everywhere I went; there was this solid brick wall.  I remember trying to talk to my mom about it and she made it sound like it was *my* problem.  I mean, it was my problem.  But what I needed from her, I so seldom ever got.  Once, I remember crying to her that I felt chastised at home and chastised at school for my weight.  If my own family couldn’t love me for who I was, then how could *I* love me?

She apologized at that time and told me that she was doing this because she loved me.  Because she had problems with her weight when she was young and doesn’t want me to have to experience that so she pushes me.  I know now that it came from a good place.  But I also know that she had weight problems when she was younger because my grandpa (her dad) was an alcoholic.  Food was her way of dealing with that.  I didn’t know that then, but over the past two years, I have pieced that together.

Aside from eating, I had two other forms of escape:  reading and acting.  I was a really good actress.  I got the lead parts in all of the school plays and felt comfortable placing myself in someone else’s shoes.  Actually, it was a relief to be able to put myself into someone else’s shoes.

I read books like my life depended on it.  What a treat to escape into a good book.  To this day, I can finish off a novel in a couple of days (if I have uninterrupted time that is).

Through all of the turmoil, my family and I actually came out stronger.  They love me and I love them.  But I was faced with so much responsibility and so much “adult” emotion; at a young age, my little mind just couldn’t compute all of that adequately.   I think I developed my own survival mode, albeit unhealthy.  My parents by example were couch potatoes.  I didn’t have a really good role model for that.  And whenever my mom would have me go on a diet, I always felt that it was something that was done *to me*.  I felt singled out.  No one else had to give up the food they loved, but I did.  We never did it as a family.  And so in that way, I felt like I was the one being chastised.  I felt imperfect and broken.

Therein lays my need to control.  Life felt so out of control at various times, that I controlled it by eating whatever I wanted.  And I felt that if I tuned in to other people’s emotions enough, then I could stop something bad from happening or stop myself from being hurt.  The “tuning in to people’s emotions” part started when  I actually felt like I repaired my parent’s marriage when I told my dad that my mom was seeing some other guy (they were separated at the time and I was 6).

Okay, so now i’m bringing this all up to date in the present.

In the present, I have three young children and I am married.  Because I am also a stay-at-home mom, I am responsible for the kids and the house 99% of the time.  All of these are things *I* chose.  But… to some weird degree, I think I had a hard time realizing that I was the one in control.

My dad used to say that he and my mom were the big chiefs and we were just the little Indians.

And I now know why it was easy to lose weight when I was completely on my own.  It’s because *I* was the one in control.  I love being married but I think a part of me thought that marriage meant that I had to give up the control to my husband and to the inlaws.  Now, I know that I don’t have to do that and that I *shouldn’t* do that.

Because now i’m a big chief.  And this weight loss thing?  This is something I am doing for myself.  It is not something that is being done to me.  I can clearly see the benefits.  And this will allow me to be a good role model for my children.  I am trying to make it so that they see and reap the benefits of all of these changes now so that they don’t have to struggle the way I did.  And if they do struggle?  Then i’m not going to put them on a diet.

Because we will do it together as a family.