Category Archives: Happiness has a name. Exercise.

I can do it and so can YOU!

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Yesterday as I was sweating it out on the elliptical, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.  And you know what?  I was workin’ it.  I could actually tell that my face was slimmer and I didn’t look so puffy.  When my reflection stared back at me in that moment, I knew that my 4 weeks of hard work was somehow paying off.

And then this morning…

I am 311 pounds now!  I weighed in at Weight Watchers this morning and lost another 3.6 pounds!  I did a happy wiggle, gave a fist pump in the air and I think I may have shouted out a woohoo!  And like Thomas the tank engine, the little voice inside of me was on repeat; “you CAN do this!!”

“It’s so nice to have you back where you belong.” — I have the “Hello Dolly” plugin activated on my blog.  While writing my post for today that is what came up.  It seems so fitting.  Thank you.  I am glad to be back where I belong too! ;)

I am not trying to get to my destination at break neck speed.  The fat fairy didn’t bring the weight on overnight and she’s certainly not going to take it away either.  Every pound down feels like one more thing in my life that has been dealt with.  I can’t explain it other than to know that I can do this.  And I will!

Five weeks ago, I was kind of a wreck.  I felt so lost.  I had gained all of this weight, and for the past few years have been in and out of a deep depressive state of mind.  Just the thought of moving off of the couch was almost too much to bear.  Hell, waking up in the morning seemed like a full time job.  I have many things in life to be thankful for and to be proud of but the massive ball of pudge and hair that was me seemed to be like this dark storm cloud always following.  My natural state of being is one made up of happy, cute and optimistic.  I’m sort of a wide-eyed idealist like that.  So this storm cloud thing wasn’t working *at all*.

However, the whole time that I was going through that, I knew that I was on the verge of just going for it.  And then, I did.  The final push came when I realized that I was not living life.  I was merely a bystander in life.  Sitting on the sidelines and watching the whole thing pass me by.  That might as well be 100% true.  I am never the one in the picture, I am the one taking the picture.  Because whenever I would see a picture of myself, I would be faced with the full truth of what I did to myself.

So here I am now.  And I feel good.  I feel better than I have in 3 years.  I’m finally taking control of this beast.  And, i’m turning my troubles over to God.  God and I have had a lot of long talks lately.  When i’m done talking and praying, I feel whole and unburdened.  I am not the most religious person in the world.  I haven’t been to church in so long that I think the last time I did was when my first child was baptized.  Something occurred to me the other night that I couldn’t do this by myself.  I needed help.  I needed something to help unburden my heart.  Because my heart is always filled with all kinds of stuff.   I’m trying to right the wrongs and restore my spiritual self as well as my health.

All in all, it got me to thinking.  There are so many other people out there like me.  They are on their last legs too.  They are on the verge too.

To anyone who has not started their journey yet but happens to be on the verge of it like I was:

Just do it.  There will never be a perfect time or perfect moment to take care of yourself.  There will never be a perfect day of the week or perfect month to start your journey.  All we know is that we have today.  None of us can predict how many tomorrows we will be blessed with.  So just take a chance on you.  Because you are worth it.

What was your turning point?  What made you decide to start getting healthy?

Monday’s Update ~ 1

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Hello fellow bloggers!  How was your weekend?

Mine was filled with lots of interesting stuff.

Date night went off without a hitch.  I managed to stay away from alcohol (i’m a mixed-drink girl) and order the right thing on the menu.  I tried to keep in my mind that I was there to spend a few hours of quiet time with my hubby and that I was not there for a few hours of quiet time with food.  Making the defining line between the two really helped me put things into perspective.

On Saturday morning while I was taking a shower, my 18-month old baby sprained his ankle.  According to Dave, B did an awkward Michael Jackson spin move while trying to get from a sitting position into a standing one and twisted his ankle.  I took him to the emergency med center just to make sure that it his injury didn’t involve a fractured bone or break.  To my relief he simply sprained his ankle.  The doctor assured me that he would be back in action in a couple of days.  B figured out that he would have to go back to crawling if he wanted to move around and play.  So crawl he did until yesterday afternoon.  His ankle was all better, the swelling was gone and he was back in the game.  Babies heal so fast!

I stayed on track with my eating but I did not get any gym time in this weekend.  I was worried about B and so I kept rooted to the spot.  The reality of the situation is that he would have been totally fine in his dad’s care while I went to the gym but I just couldn’t leave him.  We all snuggled on the couch and watched Monsters vs. Aliens on Saturday afternoon.

Speaking of no gym time.  I was on pins and needles on Saturday and Sunday.  It’s like I had all of this extra energy and I didn’t know where to put it.  I cleaned a little, did some homework, and took my daughter to see Princess and the Frog.  We also went grocery shopping afterward.  I still felt anxious at bed time.  Weird.

This morning went well unlike last Monday.  The gym was also relatively quiet.  It made me wonder if a mass of people dropped their New Years resolutions already.

I was rocking out to my new workout mix on my iPod.  I finished up the routine with Madonna’s song:  4 minutes.  Instead of ending slow (as in traditional cool down mode), I went as fast as I could for the last 30 seconds.

Want to know a secret?  Sometimes I get so pumped by the music that I feel like any moment i’m going to breakout some dance moves on the treadmill. ;)

How was your weekend and how has your Monday been so far?

Pushing myself forward

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I heard someone say once that it isn’t motivation that gets you through your weight loss journey, it’s perseverance and determination.

This week, I experienced both.

Monday was quite a day.  I woke up late, got the oldest to school late, and forgot my headphones at home (discovering this only after I was halfway to the gym).  The perfect recipe for me to say… “Forget it.”  At least, for that day.  And I almost did.  *Almost*.  But something inside of me wouldn’t let me quit even for a day.  I pushed myself and convinced myself that getting to the gym and working up a sweat is exactly what I needed.  Once there, I dropped the kids off at daycare and my youngest was. not. happy.  He gave a gut-wrenching “mommy-don’t-leave-me” cry and I *almost* said “Forget it”.  But I didn’t.  I made myself march up to the gym and select a treadmill.  Mondays are busy days at the gym so the equipment was slim-pickins’.  I chose an older machine near the back of the room.  It was kind of herky-jerky and I wasn’t quite sure it was up to snuff.  I got on it and wasn’t happy with it.  For the first 15 minutes, I had myself convinced that I would *only* do 35 minutes on the treadmill and then go home.  I had reached my limit of Murphy’s Law for the day and was feeling kind of cranky.

But then… 20 minutes into the workout I began to get into it.  I kind of mentally slapped myself back into a better mindset (the exercise helped quite a bit with that though).  I mean, life isn’t always going to hand you a golden treadmill, right?  By the end of my time on the treadmill, I was lifted out of the funk and back into my zone.  I finished my workout on the elliptical and a sweaty, happy me emerged at the end.  A funny thing though…. toward the end of my workout a group of ladies came in and started arguing over who would get which treadmill next.  I guess I wasn’t the only one having an off-day. ;)

On Tuesday, my workout regime resumed without a hitch.  It kind of erased the memories of the case of the Mondays that I had the day before.   Then, I weighed in and lost a total of 2.4 pounds!  I felt vindicated in my decision to stay the course.  It was an awesome feeling!

I proved to myself that perseverance and determination really does win out in the end.

On another note, I took the kids outside to play a little today and wished that we had one of those outdoor fireplaces to warm up with!