On a bad week, I would push for fast food dinners (and sometimes lunches as well) about 5 out of 7 days of the week.  I knew those meals weren’t good for my family  but we ate them anyway and I pushed for them anyway.  Of course I could say that I chose wisely about what I put in my mouth on those weeks, but the truth is, I didn’t.  Not even a little.  On the nights I went for broke (uh 2 Big Macs, please?) I promised myself that it would be the. last. time. ever.  It wasn’t the last time though.  Because I hadn’t changed patterns and behaviors.  Just saying it doesn’t make it so.

On a good week, I would push for fast food dinners (and lunches) about 2-3 out of 7 days.  So that still means that almost half of those weeks were filled with weight climbing, heart-attack and stroke inducing foods.  I would see my kids eat it and my heart would break.  But I felt like I just couldn’t stop.

This next thing I mention… I would like to hammer home.  Because everytime I think of this… my determination for good health for not only myself but for my family as well, grows.

With all of the fast food that we were consuming…. there came a point where I felt like I was killing my kids.  I felt like I was handing them an invisible cloth with all of my failures and weight-humiliation on it and forced them to wear it.  They’re kids.  They eat what we eat.  They mirror the patterns that we set.  The risks for obesity for them is that much greater because I am obese and because my family has obesity issues.  If they see me eating crap food and couch-potato-ing it up… they are going to think that it is acceptable.

Of course, the reality is that they may not find it acceptable and may try desperately not to live that life.  But still.  Why put them through that if I don’t have to?  Why make them try to undo the mistakes that I handed to them on a platter?  Their psychs are so delicate right now.  And parents, we are the best teachers our children have.

On this whole journey, that is the one thing I keep reminding myself.  I’m not just doing it for me and for my future…. i’m doing it for them and for their futures too.

We are learning to eat differently as a family.  It hasn’t been easy.  My oldest is really kind of resisting the food changes.  I let him pick out a couple of meals a week.  I actually found a great book by Jessica Seinfeld called; Deceptively Delicious: Simple Secrets to Get Your Kids Eating Good Food.    So, instead of McDonalds Chicken Nuggets, I actually make the book’s recipe for chicken nuggets.  This involves chicken breast strips, pureed broccoli and a sesame seed/cornflake coating on the outside.   I dip the chicken breast in the broccoli puree and then roll it in the cornflake crumb mixture and bake them.  They love them!  Most importantly, my son feels empowered because he gets to pick a favorite meal and I don’t have to freak out about the meal being unhealthy.

When I cook at home, I feel empowered and in control of my own health and of my families health.