Category Archives: Inspiration

The perfect pair of jeans

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A couple of months before I found out that I was pregnant for the very first time, I found the perfect pair of jeans.  I was meandering in Old Navy one day back in 2003, and found this really cute pair of jeans.  They were a size 14 and a little bit big, but the fit was perfect.  They hugged my rear end just right to give me an apple-bottom.  They slimmed my thighs and had just the right amount of flair at the bottom to make my walking boots look amazing.  The perfect pair of jeans, y’all!

Then, I found out I was pregnant and started eating for two.  They always tell you that “you are eating for two” but really they mean that you only need about 300 extra calories a day.  I took the phrase literally and started eating for two adults.  So my perfect pair of jeans no longer fit when I was about 3 months in to my pregnancy.  And so I had to retire them, even though I had only worn them a couple of times.

Every year, I go through my clothing and give away a bunch of it.  If I haven’t worn it in forever, then it should go to someone who can use it.  That’s my philosophy.

Every year I come across those jeans and something inside just wouldn’t let me give them away.  I kept telling myself that I *would* get back into them again.  And that dream didn’t even come close to fruition until now.  I can’t fit into them yet, but I will.

This afternoon I was thinking about them as I was doing my workout.  I kept thinking about how good it would feel to be able to slip them on over my hips and button and zip them up comfortably.  Just the thought of them gave me an extra push forward.  And then I thought about all of the cute shirts that I could buy to go with them.  And of course, get myself a new leather jacket.  Leather jackets are awesome.

This is a big deal for me because for so long (ever since I gained all of this weight) I have stayed away from shopping for myself.  I wouldn’t allow it.  I would punish myself for being so overweight.  And sometimes I was in denial and would not want to move up to the next size.  Plus, when you are 300+ pounds, shopping is just not fun anymore.  You have to shop in the special plus-sized department.  And even though they are getting better at making cute fashions for plus-sized gals like myself, there is still that stigma that heavy chicks like to wear tents.

So, the day I get to put those jeans on will not be the day I hit goal, but it will be a day where I can feel like I *did it!*.

What is the one thing you are looking forward to being able to do or wear on your journey?

I find myself thirsty for more inspiration and maybe a BodyBugg?

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I read every single blog on my sidebar, every single day for inspiration.  Because I know that these people are going through what I am going through OR they have already gone through what I am going through and now their blogs sort of act as mentors (of sorts).

Not so long ago there was this stigma that if you weighed over 300 pounds you were well on your way to having to resort to gastric bypass surgery or some other form of weight loss surgery in order to lose weight.  It’s a scary thing.  As a woman who has had 3 c-sections, I can only say that I imagine these surgeries to be 10 times worse (and c-section recovery is no picnic.  Especially after the first few days when you are afraid to cough or poop).  A friend of mine who weighed over 600 pounds had gastric bypass surgery.  It was a Godsend and saved his life.  But even he admitted that a year long recovery and a drastic change to his diet was really extreme and hard.

So i’m on a mission to find other people who have lost half of themselves without surgery.  It’s an obsession really.  For the first time in a long time, I am seeing things with eyes wide open.  I have a picture of *the new me* in my mind (one without dark circles under her eyes. hydrolyze anyone?).  This picture is clear as day, I tell ya.  And I have come to the point where I don’t care if it takes me 1 year or 10 years to get down to 150, I will do it y’all.  I will.

And also… I would like to throw out there that I don’t think there is anything wrong with having weight loss surgery.  Everyone makes a choice as to what will work best for them.  It’s all related to weight loss and it’s all a journey no matter how you choose to get there. And it is definitely NOT the easy way out.  When they take out half of your stomach and re-route your intestines…. it is FAR from the easy way out.

4 weeks of my own journey has brought me to so many wonderful people.  Really.  I am so lucky to have found so many that I relate to in different ways.  And I love that we’re all rooting for each other!

I found a few memoirs that I want to read:

  1. Half-Assed
  2. The Amazing Adventures of Dietgirl
  3. My Other Body: A Memoir of Love, Life, Fat and Death

Has anyone read these?  If so… what did you think?

Lastly, i’m thinking of getting a BodyBugg.  You know, those black things that you attach to your arms as seen on The Biggest Loser?  Right.  That.  I’m not sure though.  There is a sale on them right now for $199.  But from what I have read, the cost doesn’t stop there.  You also have to pay a monthly fee to enter in your stats and upload your caloric burn for the day.  So it seems kind of expensive.

What do you guys think?  Is it worth it?  Is it like a magical piece of equipment or is it just a glorified pedometer?  Is there a better/cheaper alternative?  Basically, I want to track how many calories I burn in one day.

Amazingly Weight Watchers – a meeting of goals

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I went to my first Weight Watchers meeting tonight.  Well… not my first WW meeting ever, but my first one in a long time.  And let me tell you I felt renewed.  There’s nothing better than having your very own diet tribe (or health tribe — sounds more permanent), to discuss weight issues.  And I love the energy contained in a room full of motivated people who are serious about their weight loss goals!  They are motivated to get moving…  motivated to be the change they seek.  That is what it is all about!

During tonight’s meeting, we talked about goals; short term and long term.  Everyone had a long term goal of actually getting to their goal weight.   As for the short term goals, one lady mentioned that she wanted to fit in a seat with room to spare all around it.  Simply awesome.  Now how is that for imagery?

My ultimate goal is to get down to a healthy weight and BMI.  But a short term?  Hmmm….

So here and now I am setting my very *first* short term goal.

I want to thrive and survive in PrimalStride’s first seven day challenge.  It is appropriately titled “The 5 at 5 Challenge”.  He has asked all of us who wish to join, to get up at 5am and run, jog, walk, skate or bicycle a 5k.  Check out his blog for more information on the challenge.  Be inspired.  Be motivated to get moving! :)